Friday, 8 January 2016

Not on the high street.

I've decided Christmas Sales Shopping is a bit like skydiving. Not to be attempted without training or an experienced partner in tow.

I am not an experienced and responsible partner. I would probably lose you in New Look and spend the rest of the afternoon crying into a latte at Costa (other purveyors of cheap shoes and mediocre coffee are available). I don't really do clothes shopping in dedicated shops. Most of my wardrobe comes from charity shops, supermarkets and kindly family members (who, luckily for me, all have great taste).

But I'd abandoned my precious hat in a pub before Christmas and needed to get it back. And while I was in the centre of town, I thought I'd just have a 'quick look' at the sales.

So, shops are super confusing to navigate. They have multiple doors. Multiple floors. And there are just... clothes. Everywhere. When you're running mostly on chocolate pennies and tea it is very easy to wander around bumping into clothes racks and people. To add to my discombobulation, Topshop has decided it's not just a shop. It's a shop cum trendy wedding. It's got a Photobooth! A photobooth with a wind machine in it! And there is music which I don't understand. Some of the music is about taking your clothes off, which seems like a counterproductive marketing message from a chain of clothes stores. I saw a fake fur orange jacket and thought it was probably time for me to go.

H&M had the advantage of quieter music and now sells cushions, which is nice. You can't really be intimidated by a cushion. They are intrinsically non-threatening objects. But the clothes racks are placed strangely close together. This makes the shopping experience uncomfortably like a real life Pacman, where you bumble along the maze of Christmas sweaters, suddenly see you're about to bump into a ghost / fellow shopper and have to take off sharply, lest you get in the way of another's browsing. 

I didn't even attempt Primark. The Primark shopping experience has always seemed to me very close to the experience of shopping in the supermarket. Except without the consolation  of being able to head to the dairy aisle for a wedge of brie in moments of stress.

I ended up buying a T-shirt for £2 in H&M. It's a very pretty shade of blue. And has a nice scoop back. 

And I got my hat back, so I think we know who the real winner is here. 


Friday, 1 January 2016

1000 paper cranes | 366

It's important to learn from other people's mistakes. So, here's some fresh wisdom for you: do not engage in paper craft lightly. Specifically, do not start a merry folding project and then embark on a super intense Masters course. It's like Baileys and Prosecco: the two do not mix. You get strands of coagulated gunk. Okay, so it's not exactly like any kind of drink (except perhaps desperation vodka mixing with sweat / tears at 4.03am) but it's a metaphor, right?

So yes, anyway. I have been learning lots over the past few months, including a deep and abiding love for Russian formalism (eh, yeah, who knew?) and I've been reading constantly. Which, obviously amazing, but leaves little room for paper folding. Short of mutating into an octopus with opposable thumbs and two brains and acquiring lots of waterproof paper, I'm never going to be able to combine the two. Actually, I don't think waterproof paper folds that well so even that's a bust.

But I'm still going! So I am a little behind where I should ideally be according to maths and organisation but I reckon I can make it up. Why not? Just gotta think like the octopus.

And FYI, little paper birds look LOVELY with a Christmas tree, so if you're looking for something wholesome to do with your hands, I can totally recommend engaging in paper craft. Just, you know, don't do it lightly.