Tuesday, 14 April 2015

Notes From an Unlikely Fiancee: What's in a name?

At some point over the next five years I will be marrying my lovely, caring, funny best person.  This is exciting and terrifying in equal measure. People keep asking if we have a date / any kind of plan and NO we don't because planning is for those who have an opinion on chair covers and massive bows. Actually, to be fair, I do have an opinion on massive bows: they're lovely. But that's only because in my head being tiny or massive makes something automatically at least 76% more lovely.

I have never dreamed of being a bride. I wasn't one for fashioning tea towels into wedding veils when I could be creating slippers from sanitary towels (*innovative*). I was way too busy pretending to be a unicorn to even stop and think about pretending to be a wife. And I don't say this in a oh-I'm-not-like-other-girls, internalised misogyny sort of a way. It is, of course, fine to want to get married (never afraid to be controversial, that's me). Finding a person to share your life with, and sticking by them, is a wholly laudable priority. And pretty dresses and parties are also grand goals. But genuinely, I never had that sort of vision in my head. One of my best friends said that she can't imagine me as a bride. I'm just damn lucky there's no kind of written test on the way into the dress shop. Wait. There's not a test is there? I'm really not sure I should be trusted around the combination of blue biros and white silk.

I have no doubts about the person that I will be marrying. We've weathered our fair share of tempests in our time and he still makes me smile every time I see him (after 7am, that is). BUT I have no idea what I'm going to do about my name.

I don't want to take my best person's name, because I don't want to start our marriage on the understanding that his person takes precedence over mine. But then, it's not like I'm hugely attached to the name I've got. If someone tried to tell me I wasn't an Anna, they'd get short shrift. I LIKE being a palindrome. But my second name, I can take or leave, and I would like to do something to give our new little family an identity. We can't double barrel, because we both have polysyllabic names as it is, and that would make filling in forms a nightmare. I am very keen on squishing our names together to make some kind of mad chimaera of a name, but the best person, being a fan of history and all that jazz, is not so psyched.

I don't know what we'll do, but I love that we have options. All of the options. I mean, you can get cheese for a wedding cake. What a time to be alive. I'm sure I'll come to a conclusion sooner or later, or I might just give myself a different name for every day of the week. I know that the person I'm going to be spending the rest of my life with is a good 'un, and would be even if he was called Voldermort McEvilFace. Probably. I'll report back as the panic takes over, but that's enough for me for now.

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