Thursday, 5 February 2015

Many directions and Do you know you're beautiful?

I'm not averse to a bit of boppy-pop. In my mind, music should make you dance, cry or laugh. The musical stylings of One Direction make me do all three, albeit often for the wrong reasons. Music should also make you think, but a little thinking is a dangerous thing in the world of boppy-pop. Take One Direction's smash hit song, 'That's what makes you beautiful'. An innocent hymn to the overwhelming pleasures of hair flipping. right? Noooo! 'You don't know you're beautiful... that's what makes you beautiful.'

Sorry what? You can only be beautiful if a) some floppy hair atop a set of rock hard abs has deemed you so and b) NOT IF YOU AGREE WITH IT, wench. Jeez, you think you're so clever with your flippy hair and your lighting up of rooms, doncha?

I don't want the beauty of anyone to be filtered and narrowed through the male gaze alone, and I don't want anyone's self worth to rest outside themselves and in the eyes of another.

And so, just to help a brother out, I've written some alternative words for the boys. I confidently expect a call from One Direction's management right about... now.

Do you know you're beautiful? An alternative take.

Hello to you, you're very cute,
And I'm hoping that you know this too-oo-oo
Cos why should I, get to decide
What looks good and what just doesn't fly-y-y?

Everybody has the right to feel fierce
Everyone includes you-ou.

Baby. you're cool with yourself and you're self aware,
You don't derive your self worth from your style of hair,
And when you look straight ahead it's not hard to tell
You are more (or-ore) more than just beautiful
If you sat down and just talked with me,
I know that we could start making some history
And though the outside is nice it's not hard to see,
You are more (or-ore) more than just beautiful,
That's what makes you beautiful.

So co-come on,
If you were wrong,
I wouldn't be banging your gong-ong-ong,
But it is true, to look at you,
Means more than enjoying the view-ew-ew.

Everybody has the right to feel fierce,
Everyone includes you...

I'll be honest with you, it gets a bit repetitive here and degenerates into:

Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nahs.

So I'll let you fill in the blanks but remember...

That's what makes you beautiful!

*winks cheekily to camera, strides off into sunset*

tumblr valentine's day card one direction

Happy Valentines Day! XOX

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